sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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