Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
