Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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