I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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