I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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