Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
