ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
