Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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