it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
