me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I touched a dick in church today
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
