She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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