You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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