I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This is the high leading the old right now
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is Oprah even human
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
