yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
