blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
