we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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