i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
