Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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