Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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