I cut my penus on the lid.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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