she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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