like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just gargled with NyQuil
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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