I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
