I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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