I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
