apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
