Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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