I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
