I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
organizing the empties. That sober.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
