singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
