On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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