He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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