i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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