there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
A bitchslap is in order.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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