Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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