Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
