If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
