He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
