FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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