im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
