I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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