I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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