you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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