Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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