Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
