needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
