I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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