"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
In America we eat man semen.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
