just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The struggles of a small town man whore
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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