i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
