im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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