We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
