i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
