Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
