Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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