So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
