it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
