I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize