Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
