Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
