do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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