that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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